farewell.. for now. :)

what's good in goodbye?

the first time i was asked this question was when i received it via text from my buddy kenneth, and then later on i found out that it was a question that everyone in their corridor was asked to write about. if i were to answer this, out of bitterness i would blurt out:

"wala. meron ba? "

but after giving it some thought (and reading kuya rbee's letter to the third floor boys out of curiosity), i realized that in reality, underneath the loneliness and tears brought by goodbyes, there hide pleasant things that later on, we may be thankful of.

personally, i don't like goodbyes, particularly because i'm sort of a cry baby and even the slightest senti moments make me cry. i remember confessing to my floormates during our year-ender that when i entered kalai, i vowed to myself that i would only sleep there - no mingling with people, no bonding with floormates, no going out to meet my dormmates. i was able to keep up with that life during the first sem, but the second sem got different. and it was a whole lot better. it started with room-hopping, joining the choir, participating in the cheerdance competition, and the next thing i know, my network expanded. i know that i wasn't even close to knowing one-fourth of my batchmates in kalai by the end of my stay, but honestly, i'm glad i opened my door and went out.

and now that it's goodbye, you can bet that i cried a lot more than most of my floormates did. but compared to the previous "farewell episodes" that i've encountered, i cried less. because now i realized that goodbyes may be temporary or permanent, and it will solely depend on me which one it will be. i used to treat goodbyes as a point where there would be nothing more between you and the person you're parting ways with; at present, i'm starting to treat it as something temporary, something that may be turned into a "hello" again in time.

and now, i'm somehow changing my answer from "wala. meron ba?" to this:

goodbyes give you the chance to meet more people, and to prove to the people you said goodbye to that no matter how many more people you meet, you are willing to and you will be able to keep the memory of the friendships and the relationships that you made with those people alive.

okay, that was a looong sentence. i suggest you read it again and hopefully get it the second time around. anyway, what i said there is what i intend to do - keep the memories alive. :)


to the headturners (UP TSRS), my GA-mates, my friends, my dormmates, the RA's, the mess hall people, the staff, the guards... super thank you for everything. and i hope i'd still see most of you around. *big hug*

God bless. i missed you, i missed kalai. and i'll be back next week. wee!

the power of cramming.

for some weird reason, my hand smells like beer.

anyway, i'm elated. i finished my eng10 paper this morning, sa wakas. i've been sitting in front of my mom's laptop for days now, hoping that for a change, i wouldn't cram my paper. yet every single time, i ended up spending all my pc-time multiplying, and justifying that "i'm not in writing mood yet so i better not mess with my paper just now." oh well.

i'm counting only a few hours 'til i go back to diliman. i dunno if i should be excited or what. all i have to do is submit my paper until 5 today. i hope i leave earlier than 3. 2:30 perhaps? hainako. i usually tend to leave the house until the last minute possible. sana 'di naman today. my paper would go to waste if i don't submit it on time.

err. i'm excited. yet empty. whatever. i dunno if i really am excited. i cut myself from the texting world for almost two days already, and somehow i'm hoping that when i get back sa dorm, things will be the same as they were last week - with all the fun with my friends and floormates. but maybe things will be quite different. it's finals week anyway. and it's our last week in kalai. argh, God don't make me so emotional.

i should have my camera ready just in case. and hopefully some things for my floormates. i'll miss them, i'll miss kalai, i'll miss all the experience and the people. i know, there's no way to get back here. i'm over being a freshie. and a kalai-er. almost.

heck. before i get too emotional here, let me remind myself that i still have two exams to go. God help me.

sorry, ang gulo at plain ng post ko. hope to write a more decent post uli. anybody care to comment kahit ganito?

God bless. happy easter dearies.

PS: crammed this post because i still need to pack. and for something else i crammed, it was an easter card from all of us that made my mama cry.

dressing up.

i've ranted about kalai week's paint it red, but the best of the week was yet to come: friday's wacky day and saturday's open house. for wacky day, i donned the yukata set that my host mom in japan bought me for my birthday. it was an uber fun day, and the best moment para umaura. woot! and then at open house, i completely lost all sense of shame when i sang yet again in front of a crowd while paos - being part of a choir was tolerable, but singing for kalai tunes? haha. ang kapal na ata talaga ng mukha ko.

for the following week, my corridor had our corridor exhibit. basically, we were all (supposedly) dressed as toys, and had the chance to get introduced one by one. loved the name of our endeavor, plus the tagline: ToyS R uS, we're out of the box. the mini "after party" was fun as well. happy belated bday, aubs and marielle!

lastly, just last night, i had another make-up session with mei (the girl next door who is so kind to do my make-up whenever there's an event). i also bothered a lot of people in search of an acceptable party outfit at the last minute. thanks so much to up tsrs and mara, for bearing with my fashion dilemma. funny 'coz when i arrived there at adhoc, my attire was totally out of my concern agad. i had so much fun smiling (haha), drinking and dancing. am so glad diosa tagged along! wee.

anyway, since i'm in no mood to feed you with all the fun details, just check out the pics of these events at my multiply. you know you wanna click that link. go on! :)

...

argh, bear with me. there's something bothering me right now and i just need to let this out.

i remember being infatuated (or probably obsessed) with a certain someone in high school. it didn't matter to me that i was the female between us two. i made efforts to be close to him, did him a lot of favor, and probably had "i like you" written all over my face whenever i talked to him.

i always wondered why he purposely ignored me, or why he can't be even a tad nice. but now i know.

heck, i completely freaked him out! imagine having someone you hardly know suddenly popping out of nowhere and sending you signals regarding her feelings every second of the day. no wonder the guy stayed away from me. it must have seemed like i would grab him given the smallest opportunity.

funny 'coz i always knew that that was the scenario, but i never believed it. maybe i didn't want to think that my showing affection to him would be taken negatively, as what actually happened.

now you ask, what am i trying to get at? i told you, there's just something that's bothering me right now. or erase that. there's actually someone. i dunno what to do, but for the meantime i'm steering away.

argh. 'nuff said. God bless you guys.

where is the love?

whoohoo! a late valentine greetings to everyone. haha. did you all have a date? :))

sorry, ang sabaw ko. okay, okay. let's get this a bit composed.

first of all: i am not bitter. not a tiny bit. in fact, i enjoyed the day of love even without being romantically involved with anyone. oha, oha. (sabaw pa din 'no.) anyway, it has been one busy day for me, and my only frustration was that i was still paos by the production at night. yet i still sang. whoohoo!

for kalai week, the red people (my own floor and the third floor hunks) were assigned to hold a program for valentines day. we set up a booth for the whole day, with 100 ways of saying i love you (in different languages) and 100 super corny pick-up lines (haha. peace jigo!) we also gave out cards saying "Hi, I'm Minnie. Have you seen my Mickey?" and others with different characters, and the first 50 pairs to reunite were given a special part in the program for the night. Hmm, what else? During the whole day, the dorm was booming with love songs and aspiring divas singing along using the microphone. haha. too bad i was too paos to join in.

for the night, we had a series of song numbers, great and funny hosts (yey for hoby and ida!), and a lot of pakulo. the texting promos were fun. we had a gimik wherein the 100th person to text in his student number and crush's name will have a gift delivered to his crush. and then there was another one wherein the audience could send in messages under code names, and a lot of fun and cheesy messages came in. haha. love the fun. :D

i enjoyed singing din with jp, although i really messed up (sorry japoy). plus the music suddenly stopped somewhere in the middle of the song. ooh shame.

what i loved was the lighting of sparks by the people who found their pairs (remember the cards?). i was one of the 5 girls who didn't get a card because the supplies weren't enough, but i got to be a proxy for a girl who wasn't around that night. thanks marco, for pulling me as your pair.

lastly, the day was complete when bea, kat and kenneth dropped by. too bad i didn't get to go to starbs with them 'coz our program was still ongoing. but i love the little chitchat. congrats besty, for winning your 1k gift certficate. haha. libre!

by the end of the night, i was overwhelmed seeing a guy serenading one of my floormates out of the window, and i can't help but remember all those epal moments that i've experienced with some guys in high school. haha.

i am NOT bitter. just... reminiscing. or whatever. heck. i could do with the piece of ferrero that i got anyway. and the ton of greetings. :)

belated happy single awareness day to the single people like me! God bless! :D

J is for joyce.

i was listing down codes for all that happened around me since my last blog post (so i'd know what to write about this time), and i noticed that the people whom i listed down are all J people. haha. funny coincidence.

okay, so j is for..

jc. i have my hands up for this guy, who handles music notes so well that i can't help but get carried away during himig kalai rehearsals. before i knew it, i was swaying beside him. (and mcdo was laughing at me. rar.)

jerson. the ever-enthusiastic app head of laong laan is always on the go, especially during the fund run. (i ran an extra half-lap, for more burning of fats! XD)

jena. yey, she's eighteen na din! as usual, i dreaded talking up front (as part of the 18 gifts), but doing it for her made it so okay.

jopay. my cutie cousin loves joining in, and in last sunday's game of donkey, she was perpetually smiling even if she and ate jo were losing.

joanne. my elder sis (with me, actually) picked up the wrong visitor last fiesta and brought him to my uncle's house. good thing we found the right person the second time around.

justin. when i went to the lib for the second time (i looked stupid during the first; i didn't know what to do), i met LL co-app justin. had so much fun chitchat-ing (and secret fishing)!

jeff. friday night, i was asked to sing for the birthday of a person i've never met. as the gossips went, he is a handsome guy. happy 18th, jeff!

jo. after bringing me to jeff's birthday bash, she suddenly appeared in my room and asked to sleep over. She was so engrossed in sketching evan (and she was good), and we chatted until 3.

jp. i never knew he'd be one hell of a nice guy. he introduced me to his floormates (again, during jeff's party), just so i'd gain new friends. and he's so fun to be with.

jim. it was fun having conversation with my canadian uncle. his voice is waaaay softer than mine.

plus,another J is for...

jma. again, there were lots of jma get-aways. firstly, i had fun talking about starbucks coffee during branded gold, a seminar about marketing and branding. and then came the crazy first interviews, apps gone wild, where i did do some insane things while dressed up as a pig. right after my interview was a three-hour nonstop tambay, after more than a week of not showing up at the tambayan (i dropped by the afs office afterwards as well). lastly, there were two activities that got me involved with kids yet again - olympicnic, a day of games with the beneficiaries of jma, and art champ: i can sur-5!, an art camp for children who are battling against cancer. This has been one of the most satisfying jma events so far, especially because i am easily drawn to youngsters.

shamelessly posing during my english 11 class.

of course, there is one J that cannot be separated from me no matter what happens: joyce.

for a couple of days, the right side of my face and neck has been sore, and i've been so sick that i wasn't able to leave bed for meals. but i am thankful to my floormates who cared, especially to jonah and lalet who gave me medicine.

still, there are a lot more fun events around me. there was a friday when i went hav-hunting with bea at midtown near upm, and had dinner with knet and rebby as well. and also, i got well enough later on to dress up for the photoshoot that we had for our corridor exhibit. i'm going for the japanese schoolgirl in winter clothes doll outfit. ha!

yet, some things still hurt. like not knowing how to write my reaction paper for a black-and-white movie with a weird ending (at least for me), cutting philo to review for my bio exam, and feeling like i didn't do well at that same exam. argh. and also, something more, and much deeper than all these things. haii.

anyways, i hope this week turns out all right. good luck to ate jo who will be starting work at medical city tomorrow. and to my mom who will be having her chemo. God bless! smile, smile. :)

"joyce will be joyce, no matter what."

thanks trinabear. i just hope it's still okay to remain as me. (=,

counting. my bente.

whoohoo! 11 days since my last post. not bad eh. and i have tons to write about. let's start counting. from the oldest, to the latest:

twenty. after much late night to overnight practices, no-chocolate-and-less-frap days, and cheering the kalai basketball and volleyball teams with mere lip screams, i survived the four consecutive nights of song rehearsals and performance for the kalai christmas production as a member of himig kalai.

nineteen. a day after ken fabay's 18th bday, it was our first time to have coffee with him, plus get a honeyglazed doughnut treat for me and besty bea.

eighteen. my whole body was sore after putting on my super "career mode" during the funny bones game with dianne enriquez at the jma apps acquaintance party, in exchange for a david&goliath stack of sticky notes.

seventeen. the UP student regent elections called for an earlier up lalong laan general assembly, in preparation for the chirstmas party and the other activities for this sem.

sixteen. a stupid error put me on the verge of falling 0.25 lower than my math 100 departmental exam grade. whew.

fifteen. we were two hours late and without a ride home, but we had a lot of fun during earaluz cubacub's debut, which incuded a self-conducted pseudo prom pictorial.

fourteen. got wet after foolishly pouring water on myself during one of the games at jma's kids christmas party.

thirteen. finally saw my sister's room during jen's open house, and envies the built in comfort room in their room. haha.

twelve. fitted a dozen of blouses at rob, before finally settling for a blue collared crissa top.

eleven. went back to the dorm late at night for the kalai christmas party, and secretly hoped someone would bid to have me as a date.

"parang... you look good tonight."

ten. went back to diliman on sunday for the up tsrs christmas party, and received a HUGE gift!

nine. showed my love to my closest friends by giving them useless little bears, and was glad they appreciated their cuteness.

eight. did a very careless mistake, and hurt an important person.

seven. went to school from tanay, was thirty minutes late to philo11, and was lucky that my prof arrived even later.

six. "career mode" again, this time for a cheer for our jma guardian melo during the jma christmas party.

five. stayed overnight at regina balajadia's auntie's house in cainta, right near the mall.

four. had to fetch merryn louise ang at junction and keep her company in diliman, but i am so not complaining because i missed her a lot and we had so much fun.

three. did epal at the psychology department's christmas party, seached for a certain person (ehem.), and so loved the chocolate fountain!

two. my phone's memory reached its limit after i took tons of pictures during the up lantern parade.

one. my achievement: cleaning my dorm room for only an hour for the general inspection.

woohoo! now that's a quick recap of all that's happened. as much as i would like to write pages and pages of narration for each one, i'm just too lazy to do so.

anyway, God bless! have a splendid christmas! peace. God bless!

drained.

it has roughly been half a month and i've never updated this new blog that i set up because i thought my blogging self is alive again. oh well. and now i'm here typing an entry when it's almost midnight and i need to wake up at around 4-5 tomorrow. talk about cramming. haha. so, what to write about? a lot has happened lately, but by the end of every day they all lead me to this same sinking feeling of emptiness. hell, this is getting emo.

okay, let's perk up! first week of december is the big BA week slash this sem's JMA tambay week. whoohoo! i tried to balance it out by being active on both aspects, but i guess jma got the best of my time. teehee. i'm an hour and thirty minutes over the required tambay time for the week, and i did well (ehem.) by being a booster and cheering for jma during bacbacan 2. orayt! the BA involvement for the week would be aux-ing during bacbacan 2. so from the red shirt that said "hey, i'm connected to jma" i had to change to the white "i-am-not-biased" aux uniform. now i'm getting over-involved. or so i think. haha.

the week's also been a big nice birthday celebration! from my ate jo's 22nd birthday (haha. i wonder if she'd go against me posting her age here), to chum's 20th, i've eaten enough food to stock me up for the couple of days of seemed fasting that followed (no, i wasn't on diet. i was just too busy and too kuripot. haha.) it was nice getting to hang out with chum yet again. and good to see he's gained more muscles. ha!

and yes, we're still up for our goal for next year: the starbs planner. kat got hers just last night, and i bet bea has hers na din. oh my gosh, i'm still 5 stickers away. hmm. with the double-sticker promo (you get two stickers if you buy between 12:30-2pm and 8-9:30pm) extended up to christmas day, i guess i'm around 3 coffees away from the planner, or less if someone goes to coffee with me and gives me the stickers. haha! so greedy.

okay, my eyes are almost dropping now. i was planning to put pictures but i'm too lazy right now (i'm always lazy though). oh, and i ought to put the phlegmatic details pa nga pala. anyway, there's still another time. right now, let's call this a night. God bless!

PS: i'm all out rehearsing for the christmas presentation at kalai (my dorm) next week, tues to fri. i can't say we're well-prepared already, but i'd still invite you. drop by the dorm from around 6pm next week tuesday to friday. there will be acting and dancing, and the finale for every night would be the singing. you know where to find me, or do you? haha. see you there! peace!

PPS: why drained? because i am so.